Downloads and Whistleblowing

Essay 2

July 20, 2023

A Hostile Work Environment

I’m the whistleblower at work.  I felt guided to do it.  But more on that part later.  I am a leader at an institution, and what started as a wonderful job working with kind, collaborative people has slowly devolved over time. It is now a job I drag myself to every day with dread.  I have witnessed the misogyny, institutional racism, power dynamics, and office politics.  I have been overworked, overwhelmed, and trying to hold all the pieces together throughout the pandemic and after. Meanwhile my male counterparts clocked out at 5pm with little regard for others.  The mental health of my employees has suffered due to workload. At the same time, executives continued to make decisions and policy changes that only piled on more work.  I have spoken out about all of these concerns on numerous occasions to anyone who would listen – superiors, human resources – and nothing has changed.

Everything recently came to a head when an employee accused a well-known leader of creating a hostile work environment.  I believe her claims because this leader has also created a hostile work environment for me.  You see, I’m fairly certain that I am viewed as a troublemaker.  I’m the lady with the big mouth who won’t stop calling out all the wrong she sees, and I guess the wrong-doers don’t like that very much.

I used to be the agreeable leader who was willing to compromise with my peers. I did so for the sake of keeping the peace, achieving mutual goals, and building relationships.  However, something changed. After everything I have witnessed and experienced first-hand – the subtle jabs, the interrupting in important meetings, the “good ol’ boys” club, and the attempts to damage my reputation – I am done keeping the peace.  When I felt compelled, I reached out to HR to share my official complaint about this particular leader. My statement substantiated the claims of my employee who also filed a complaint.  I am currently awaiting the results of an HR investigation.

Spiritual Downloads

But back to feeling guided to do this.  I receive spiritual downloads.  They are like channeled messages providing guidance for my highest good. This is a newer thing for me and something I’m still trying to understand. 

Downloads are information given to me by my angels, spirit guides, my higher self, God – whatever you want to call it.  I believe it is divine knowledge and direct guidance to help me on my path.  And how do I receive this information?  Well, that part is harder to explain.  I hear it like a voice in my head most of the time. It is distinctly different than my own internal monologue. Sometimes it’s just a feeling of deep knowing that hits me.  More recently, as I have tapped in and really listened, the information can flow fast and freely. Sometimes, it’s so fast that I can hardly keep up.  I hear it as, “You should do”…xyz or “You need to” …fill in the blank.  It always feels like the missing piece of the puzzle or a solution that I didn’t even realize I needed.  Often, it can hit me like an “ah-ha” moment. More importantly, the guidance always feels “right” in my heart. It feels like love from the universe picking me up and pushing me forward on my path.

In hindsight, I may have been receiving downloads all my life.  I just didn’t know what it was.  Have you ever had a lightbulb moment where a great idea just pops into your head out of nowhere?  The idea may provide a solution to an immediate problem that you are experiencing.  Have you ever wondered where that came from?  I never did in the past.  I just thought I was a great problem solver (thank you, ego).  I used to say, “I do my best thinking in the shower”.  Something about being alone in the shower, focused only on myself, allows me to clear my head. Ideas just flow.  I know now that those brilliant ideas and solutions were not my own.  They were placed there by a higher power.  The more I recognize that and stop to listen when information hits me, the more clearly the information flows. The downloads have become more frequent now as well.  Frankly, it feels like God is talking to me.

Blowing the Whistle

I was on a business trip when I made the decision that I would formally file a complaint about the leader at work.  I kept hearing “It’s now or never” when I pondered the situation.  This leader is smart, very smart.  He is also extremely charming and good at his job. These things work to his advantage.  Outwardly, he is funny and friendly, often publicly complementing and encouraging others on their work.  He has the “likability” factor that seems to blind most people. 

I see who he really is.  Maybe it’s the gift of discernment that allows me to perceive people’s true intentions. Every decision he makes is to serve his best interest, not the interest of the people.  He will take down any person who stands in his way, as he has tried to do with me.  He works through people, manipulating others to do his will. He plants seeds of lies around the organization. He subtly influences people’s opinions of his perceived opponents.  He moves in the shadows so that others cannot easily tie his actions back to him.  As a result, each isolated transgression seems small. When combined, the cumulative impact of his actions is overwhelmingly detrimental to employees and the organization.  It’s now or never.

Love,

Phoenix Rising